My Half Full Brain

I am a thinker. Not in the good way like I am trying to solve the world's problems or trying to invent something. I just think. In fact, the more time I have to think, the more my brain spins out of control. I call this the "Spin Cycle." One thought leads to another and another and before you know it I am ticked about something. Ugh.

This really wasn't a problem until I was driving home from work last Tuesday. I was behind a brake tapper. I HATE brake tappers. If they would just back off the car in front of them, they wouldn't have to tap their brakes every five seconds to slow themselves down. Anyway, that brake tapper sent me into a stream of thoughts that jumped from the noise on the radio to mini-vans to a myriad of other things ending with people that wander through grocery stores. (Mind you, I was not in a grocery store, so that was quite a jump).

As I threw my hands in the air in frustration, I realized that I really had no reason to be frustrated. That is when it dawned on me that I was a severe pessimist. I always joked that not only was my glass half empty, but the stuff that was in my glass was not even stuff I was willing to drink. But, I truly thought it was just a joke. I didn't like a lot of things, but I didn't think I was more negative than any other person, yet here I was, grumbling like Yosemite Sam about slow folks in grocery stores.

I decided, at that very moment, that my pessimistic attitude needed to change. Then, as the sun broke through the clouds (pause for dramatic effect and glorious music) and blinded me because I was not wearing my sunglasses, I realized that the next 40 days would be a perfect chance to change. Lent was starting the next day. For those that don't know, during the time of Lent most Catholics give up something they enjoy during Lent. In the past I had given up candy, soda, napping - all things I enjoy - but this year, I could give up the one thing I do without thinking, that I also apparently enjoy (otherwise I wouldn't do it so often). I would give up being a pessimist.

So here I am. Three days into my journey. And I am exhausted! This may be harder than I thought...